THIS IS FINDON VILLAGE — www.findonvillage.com created by Valerie Martin, contains scenes from her home village of Findon, West Sussex, U.K.

WORDS OF WISDOM FROM SUZIE AND KATIE

Copyright Valerie Martin 2005

"We are more than happy to give you an insight into our canine mind — especially if it will assist you to become a better human.    Please pay careful attention to our words of wisdom and if necessary take notes".

Copyright Valerie Martin 2004

Any food is fair game at any time for us.  

It doesn't matter if it's the bird seed SHE's put out in the garden.   If someone else is eating it, we are sisters and we frighten them out of the way and get stuck in immediately.

We make HER understand the difference between a bark and a yelp when endeavouring to get HER attention.  

The latter suggests pain, such as HER standing on our tails.... and this is sometimes rewarded with a cuddle as an apology.  

Yelping when SHE is in another room just doesn't work.  

We try to confuse HER by making HER think one of us has been hurt.    It never fails.

When SHE returns home from shopping, Suzie says —

"Don't let HER put the shopping away immediately, SHE must leave it on the hall floor".  

Force HER to wait while you examine the contents of all of the shopping bags first. 

Let's face it, you're not allowed to go wandering around Sainsbury's and so you ought to inspect what SHE's spent the money on.  

Keep checking all the bags over and over again for goodies that may have been missed on the first examination..

Never urinate on demand.  Always go when YOU want to go.   Do not worry about those insignificant events going on at the same time, such as the  Cup final, Formula One Grand Prix, the Wimbledon final........ or Coronation Street.

Master or servant?  Just remember who shovels those poops up.   There's your answer to that question without any doubt.

"Walkies" is a phrase that means "Cissbury Ring".  

However "Walkies" isn't always suggested when it's convenient to us.

If there's a MAN around, we never agree to "walkies" at half-time during a football match on the T.V.    We always insist on waiting until at least the penality shoot-outs.

SHE says that we should have exceptional hearing.  

We do have the ability to hear her high pitched whistle but we've trained HER to thinking we can't hear always hear HER.    

We ignore HER whistles completely when we are chasing bunnies on Cissbury Ring.   

But we always go running to HER when She shouts "biscuits" — even if we are two miles away at the time.

DID YOU KNOW THIS?   There's a knack to taking a drink of water after a run on Cissbury Ring.  

We always curl our tongues backwards to scoop up the water and throw it to the back of the throat. 

We swallow what we need and then allow the rest to roll back into the cheek and jowls.  

Repeating this, especially on a hot evening, enables evenly distribution of the excess to the floor.   We can then watch HER mopping up after us and we know that SHE enjoys doing it and loves us even more than before.

Beware of anyone named "vet" with a thermometer.  

The word "vet" is an acronym derived from "Very Embarrassing Treatment".  

If SHE as much as mutters this word, expect the worst and hide immediately from danger.

Never agree willingly o go to see Richard for a booster.

It involves a needle and will only boost his profits and allow him to buy a larger surgery and go to the Bahamas.  

Save HER from this unnecessary financial loss at all times.   If SHE thinks she has tricked us into a car ride and we find ourselves at his door, we dig our toes in at the threshold and refuse to enter his surgery.

If we are tricked into a visit to Richard, this can result in the need to take pills. 

When SHE tries to push these into our mouths, we secrete them under our tongues.   Then wait ten minutes and demand to be let out into the garden to do some urgent business. 

We then make sure SHE is not looking out of her bedroom window as we spit the pills out on her flower border (keeping an eye on the window all the time).

This is a photograph of US not of HER.

LAST OF ALL....... Suzie and Katie remind you that if your dog is lost or stolen you can register details online or Call 01909 733366.

Your dog’s details (and a photo) are made available on the site’s searchable database, and in addition a missing dog poster is created for you to print off or email.

For a small charge your missing dog poster can be automatically faxed or emailed to every vet, dog warden, kennels and pet shop in a zone 30 miles around the place where you last saw your dog.

Could this be a timber wolf seen against the Findon skyline?

No, it's just Suzie pretending to be one in her dreams on Cissbury Ring....

To conclude on the Shetland Sheepdogs..... here is a poem dedicated to the breed and written by Norman's ten-year-old Granddaughter living in Worthing...

Thank you for your lovely words, Jess.

Continue if you would like to partake in Findon in November.

This is Findon Village — www.findonvillage.com is a continually growing record created by Valerie Martin exclusively for documenting life in Findon.