John Boers, the Canadian representative of the Association of Liberation Children, could find no trace of a Gerald Staines.  I suggested that the surname could be Starnes.  Within two weeks (on the 17th May 2001), he had heard from official sources that there was only one Gerald Starnes in the Canadian armed forces during the Second World War.  He gave me my father's regiment, which was the 7th Medium Regiment of the Royal Canadian Artillery, (remember my uncles' memories of big guns in the Chipstead Woods?) 

He also told me that I had four half brothers and four half sisters living in Eastern Canada, thousands of miles apart.  He had been in contact with the eldest son who said there would be no problem with me getting in touch.  His saddest words were that father had died of cancer in 1984.  

He asked me to write a letter to "all the Starnes Children" explaining why I wanted to know my roots etc.   I hastily wrote this letter and within a week had heard from two of the Starnes children.  Can you imagine hearing from a close relative you had not known about for 58 years?  I soon got used to this and loved all their letters.  

Although I was sad that Dad had died 18 years ago, I later realised that this was for the best.  If he was still alive I would have wanted to get on the next plane to Canada.  This would have led to all sorts of problems between him and his wife, who is still alive, which I would not have wanted.

The first letter I received was from Elda, who was the sister born when Dad was in England; of course Dad did not see her until she was 5 years old in 1945.  I then received a letter from the oldest brother Bill.  Later other letters were exchanged between me and sister Ruth and brother, Perry.  Four out of eight had been in touch within weeks. 

One brother, the youngest, David, they had not told as he still lives with their mother who is 83 years old.  They did not want to tell him as living with "Mum" it might be difficult for him to keep it from her.  I agreed with this and, in fact, had not told my mother that I had even started the search for my father, although I had been working on it for over two years. 

Another brother, Dale, was described as the black sheep of the family having been in trouble with the police.  It seems the family have not heard from him in years.  That leaves two sisters, Irene and Esther, who are aware of me but have not been in contact with me yet  They probably will come to terms with what "their" Dad did while thousands of miles from home and will contact me one day.

Since last May, I have kept up regular contact by e-mail, phone and letters with Elda, Ruth, Bill and Perry.  Lots of questions have been answered, all about Dad's jobs, hobbies and characteristics.  I have been made to feel part of the family by all of them.  It is surprising the likeness between me and "Dad" and brothers Bill and Perry.  In fact Bill and I could be twins from our photos, if I still had my beard!  

The person I am most in touch with is Elda, we write at least weekly as we have done since last summer.  Of course, we invited them over here and they invited us to Canada but would anyone ever make the trip?

In February 2002 I decided to make the journey of a lifetime and visit Elda and her husband in Toronto.  I arranged to stay in a hotel near to them as my biggest fear was that I may not get on with my new found sister.  I felt a little awkward the first few days, I had never known a sister before, how to treat her, what do I say to her, do I say what I really think and risk upsetting her.  I just was myself and she had to take me as I am. 

We got on famously.  Her husband, Jim, is a decent guy and they both did all they could to make me feel welcome in Canada and more importantly part of the Starnes family.  Jim who knew Gerry well, kept on saying to me "That's what your Dad would have said" and "That's what your Dad would have done".  They both said a lot of my mannerisms reminded them of Gerry.  I reminded Jim so much of Gerry that after a few days he called me Gerry for the rest of my stay with them.  Elda and I exchanged photographs and tried to bring each other up to date with nearly 60 years we had been apart.

On the Saturday evening, there was a knock on the door and as I happened to be right there, I answered it.  Two females stood there and then I recognised brother Perry standing there.  As a complete surprise to me, Elda and Jim had arranged for Perry and his wife, Brenda, and one of their daughters, Krista, to visit us for the evening. 

There was another knock and this time it was sister Ruth and her husband Richard.  I was speechless for a while with all the excitement.  Perry lives five hours south of Toronto and Ruth over six hours away.  I really appreciated their driving thousands of miles to see me, especially as it was the middle of February and we could have had snow at any time. 

The week soon flew by and it was time to leave Canada for the eight hour flight back to Heathrow. 

I am still in regular contact with my Canadian family and hope either some of them will visit me in England — or I will visit them again.

John Stepney.